Many thanks again to Scribewraith and 0bake for the IM beta. :)
John knew it was the right choice, the only logical course of action; there was no other option.
Doing the right thing shouldn't hurt this much.
He leaned over the metal railing of the balcony, letting the crisp night air wash over him. He was at the edge of the city; there was nothing but the darkness of the night beyond. Even the sky was overcast, clouds curtaining any light the half-full moon would have cast on the water. It suited John's mood perfectly.
"Why? Why are you doing this?" Rodney demanded.
"It's the right thing to do."
"Is that the best you can come up with?"
John didn't answer.
The look of hurt and confusion turned to anger at John's silence. "Fuck you." Rodney snarled and stormed out of the room.
It had been more than three months; telling himself he had made the right decision hadn't made things easier.
"God, it's freezing out here!"
John turned around to find Rodney at the doorway leading to the balcony. For the first time since that night, Rodney wasn't snapping at him.
"So, this is where you come to mope? Typical." He was rubbing his hands together in an effort to keep warm, staring intently at John even as he walked towards him.
"What do you want?"
"Some answers would be good."
John turned away from Rodney, looking at the blackness before him and willing the other man to go away.
"Tell me something," Rodney stood beside him, mirroring his position and leaning over the railing. "If I was captured by hostile aliens right at this moment, or God forbid, killed, do you think you could still maintain your objectivity?"
Breath caught in his throat, John couldn't answer. He could feel Rodney's eyes on him, looking for some sort of reaction. The sound of waves lapping against the city could be heard in the distance.
"Didn't think I'd figure it out? Once I got passed the blind rage and started thinking again, it was pretty obvious." Rodney's voice was quiet, calm.
John closed his eyes and lowered his head. After a minute of silence, he looked up again at Rodney. Don't do this to me; it's for the best; it would never have worked, he wanted to say, but he couldn't form the words; wishing the tides would take away whatever he was feeling.
Something must have betrayed him, because Rodney reached out for him, hand against his neck pulling John in. John was suddenly too tired to resist.
The first touch on his lips was tentative. When John didn't protest, Rodney pressed on, his tongue seeking an entry that John granted without protest. Coffee and chocolate powerbars. John found himself clinging onto Rodney without even realising it.
"Tell me you wouldn't go berserk if something were to happen to me and I'll leave." Rodney murmured between their kiss. "Tell me."
John broke their kiss; resting their foreheads together Athosian style, he looked at Rodney, not saying a word. Rodney already knew the answer.
Sliding his hands down to John's waist, Rodney pulled John into an embrace. "Come back."
John went without protest.