First written 2 days after I saw Conversion, and this is like the N-th draft, literally. I've re-wrote it so many times that I've got it memorised. Thank god for that since I went and lost the notebook I wrote it in, but since I've memorised it, no problems. ;)

 

Many thanks to slashybits and kitkat3979 for beta!

 

Nov 2005

 

Have A Nice Day

by Genie

 

You almost died again. I could count exactly how many times you've done something like that, but if I did, I'm afraid I might end up doing something incredibly stupid. I can safely say dying of embarrassment is not on the list of thing I want to accomplish.  'Dying of embarrassment' right after 'Creation of Grand Unification Theory' and 'Winning Nobel Prize for said theory' just doesn't work.

 

When Elizabeth told us to say our goodbyes, I nearly lost it. You being dead is like Sam Carter not being blonde; inconceivable. You'd think I'd be used to this, you risking your life every week. New planet, new alien babes to show off for.  But things seemed worse this time. Of course I'm ignoring the little detail that I was the one who built the damn bomb that was going to kill you, but come on, what could compare to that?

 

There was nothing I could do. All the PhDs, the genius level IQ, the good looks, none of them were of any use. I didn't even have the guts to face those bugs, like Ronon and Teyla.

 

Gaul said I'd changed, but have I? I'm still the same coward who's more interested in saving his own neck. Maybe I have changed, I'm sure I wouldn't be beating myself up over my own, clearly superior, survival instincts a year ago. Seems like your lack of survival instincts are starting to erode mine. Now, why couldn't it have been the other way around? It would have made more sense. I guess your hero complex is just too firmly ingrained.

 

I must look like a complete idiot standing in front of your door not doing anything. I can't seem to work up the courage to announce myself. What am I suppose to say? "I'm sorry, but looking at you hurt too much and I don't like pain. Glad that you're back to yourself though, and if you ever do something like that again, I will kill you myself. Oh, by the way, just thought you'd like to know that I think I might be in love with you." I'm feeling crazy just thinking it.

 

Thank God no one else is insane enough to be awake at this hour. I'd never live this down if anyone saw me. Just what am I supposed to do with you, John Sheppard? How the hell did you managed to do this to me? Reduced me to... to this emotional almost-meltdown that even Samantha Carter had never been able to achieve.

 

"Rodney?" Oh God, do you still hate me for trying to prove you didn't exist when I was in the fourth grade? "What are you doing standing there like a debil?

 

"Nothing, just uh... a thought just occurred to me, and I uh... " Zelenka looks barely awake, maybe I have a chance to get out of this.

 

"And you just happen to stop in front of Colonel Sheppard's quarters to try and figure out your grand unification theory." Right, a half awake genius is still a genius, I should've known that. And it really doesn't take a genius to figure out why I'm here.

 

"Uh... yeah," can you be more pathetic, McKay?

 

"Right." Zelenka shakes his head, takes off his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose, like he's got a headache. Then he looks up at me. "Come with me."

 

"What?"

 

"Come with me," he repeats.

 

"To where?"

 

"My quarters."

 

"Why?" No, that was not a squeak. I do not squeak.

 

"Do you think that I am going to molest you now that I know about... " Zelenka gestures between me and John's door and began speaking at an incredible speed in incomprehensible Czech. "Do not worry, you're not my type," he finishes in English.

 

I don't know if I should be insulted or not by that remark.

 

"I have vodka. Real stuff. And if you ever let anyone know about it, every toilet in this city will explode in your face when you try to flush, and everything will be very very messy for you."

 

What can one do in the face of such threat but to follow?

 

Of course, I could fix anything Zelenka might sabotage in five minutes, but since he's the one with the alcohol, I decide to say nothing.

 

The End.